she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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