I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
