I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
