Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
you never un-have a 4some
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
