shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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