sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
