I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
