Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
