he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
