problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
