I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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