Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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