The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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