i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize