I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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