Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
