That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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