You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
