do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
