The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
