You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize