i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
