he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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