hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
