just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
