i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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