Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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