That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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