I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
