Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
