i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
