i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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