Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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