Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
