were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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