Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
