Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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