Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
