and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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