Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize