it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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