i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
