I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
