she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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