I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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