I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
