shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
