Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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