bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
