She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I checked into jail on foursquare
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why can't burritos get me drunk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
