forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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