I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
