There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
