Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
