I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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