My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
