Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
