I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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