Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!

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(360): View more from Washington

It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

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(503): View more from Oregon

And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

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(281): View more from Texas

In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed

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(708): View more from Illinois

Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.

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