So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.