I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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