Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"