Texts From Last Night

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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.

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  (+31): No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/gz4d
  Replies (23) Good night (11768) Bad night (1078)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.

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  (910): i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny. http://tfl.nu/fz99
  Replies (23) Good night (1470) Bad night (2965)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.

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  (303): She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub. http://tfl.nu/e0e1
  Replies (4) Good night (3157) Bad night (975)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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  (715): Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once. http://tfl.nu/y3bm
  Replies (11) Good night (3722) Bad night (842)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick

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  (215): he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick http://tfl.nu/z2ix
  Replies (13) Good night (788) Bad night (1747)
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  (909): View more from California

  The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.

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  (909): The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you. http://tfl.nu/bupp
  Replies (12) Good night (2253) Bad night (1073)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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  (954): in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume. http://tfl.nu/xcgb
  Replies (8) Good night (3575) Bad night (718)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes

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  (509): Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes http://tfl.nu/fkbb
  Replies (1) Good night (1241) Bad night (798)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began

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  (425): Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began http://tfl.nu/trvz
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (847)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.

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  (214): I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress. http://tfl.nu/w1xg
  Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (553)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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  (804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11
  Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (469)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!

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  (780): You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day! http://tfl.nu/bw0f
  Replies (5) Good night (422) Bad night (964)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.

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  (724): You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures. http://tfl.nu/2cky
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (416)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"

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  (717): This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick" http://tfl.nu/axax
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (388)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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  (954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1302) Bad night (333)

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