how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
