Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
