that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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