Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize