u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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