we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
