i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
